25 October, 2010

10:57

I noticed I have an inner aggressiveness directed at two certain individuals from my close circle of people, and I can't seem to be able to get rid of it. Although I am calm and peaceful and rarely ever violent or aggressive, it seems that even the mere sound of their voices drives me nuts. I am not sure if they've noticed my hostility towards them, but for whatever reason they act nice and show interest in my persona. And this is 1 more reason in + to make me bite my fist! This is not normal! You don't act nice when somebody is hostile to you, the least you could do is ignore!

...and I can't control it. Hate it when there's one thing about me I can't control. I like to think about myself that I am a good, carrying and positive person, that I have high spiritual values, but slowly I start to believe that trying to stay positive and good in an environment totally gone the opposite way would finally assimilate the one opposing it. Is all gettin' me...

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