25 March, 2011

Australians got talent

The following questions about Australia were initially asked by potential visitors. They were posted by an Australian travel agency on their website, and the answers were provided by the officials of this agency – people who obviously have a good sense of humor.

Q: Is there any wind blowing in Australia? I’ve never seen on the TV that there is rain over there, so how the plants live and grow? (UK)

A: We import all the plants, already grown-up, and afterwards we just sit around them watching them die.


Q: Could I see any kangaroos roaming on the streets? (US)

A: Depends on how much you have drunk.


Q: I am considering a walking journey from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the train tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure. It is only 3,000 km, don’t forget to take water with you.


Q: Is it dangerous to crawl through the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it’s true what they say about Swedish people.


Q: Do you have ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of the places where they are located in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: Your last slave has just died, maybe?


Q: Can you please provide some information on the hippopotamus races in Australia? (US)

A: A-FRI-CA is that continent shaped as a triangle, south of Europe. AUSTRALIA is that big island in the middle of Pacific which doesn’t have…………… or better not. Sure, the hippopotamus compete against each other each Tuesday night in King Cross. Please come naked.


Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (US)

A: Face South and rotate 180ยบ degrees. Contact us once you land and we give you the rest of the details.


Q: Should I bring table cutlery with me (forks, spoons, knives, etc) in Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Use your fingers, same as we do.


Q: Can you send me the concert schedule of Vienna Boys’ Choir? (US)

A: AUSTRIA is that little country neighboring Germany, whose capital is……………… or better not. Sure, Vienna Boys’ Choir performs each Tuesday night  in King Cross, right after the hippopotamus race. Please come naked.


Q: Is there a supermarket in Sydney, selling milk all throughout the year? (Germany)

A: Nooooo, we’re a peaceful civilization of hunters / lumberjacks. Milk is illegal.


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